little sweet escape. ♥

tumblr-ing.

2011-05-24T11:13:00.003+08:00

LOL. I didn't just decided that I would be back in Blogger after months of disappearance.

well peeps,

much like many other people that I know,

i'm currently using Tumblr now.

so here it is!

CLICK HERE

it's much easier for me do to my updates there, really.

so see ya!

love;

- jocelyn -

back to reality.

2010-12-23T01:03:00.002+08:00

love;
- jocelyn -

runaway and hide.

2010-12-14T18:43:00.002+08:00

never before have i felt so emotionless,
until now.

whispering lies, knowing truth, and it hurts again.

love;
- jocelyn -

baby, it's Christmas!

2010-12-01T23:58:00.001+08:00

♫♪ this is my only lifelong wish,
this my grown up Christmas list.. ♫♪

love;
- jocelyn -

back to the beginning.

2010-11-22T19:47:00.002+08:00

let the rain fall down and wake my dreams,
let it wash away my sanity.

love;
- jocelyn -

gimme a break.

2010-11-19T15:33:00.007+08:00

hey all,
my head is as heavy as ever.
tons to worry about.
tons to be sorted out.
i'm tired.

exams are approaching soon,
and population genetics is killing me slowly.
i was told never to give up.
but at this point, with everything coming at me at the same time,
its hard for me to even hold on to anything.

i need a rest, i look too much like a zombie these days.

love;
- jocelyn -

and that's the way it is.

2010-11-18T13:32:00.001+08:00

music speaks.

love;
- jocelyn -

so help me.

2010-11-16T11:20:00.003+08:00

yet again, its like i have no idea what i'm thinking of anymore.
maybe its just a spur of the moment due to exam stress.
please let it be just that.

love;
- jocelyn -

would you say yes?

2010-11-13T20:27:00.003+08:00

PS: that is exactly what i wish to do now.

love;
- jocelyn -

i'd rather be sleeping.

2010-11-10T13:36:00.006+08:00

i think i have the words:

pinned on my forehead right now.

you see,
whenever i get back to campus from long breaks, i tend to get insomnia for the night or two.
then i'll end up looking like some zombie the next day.
*sigh.

and to make up for it,
i'll be going to bed now.
afternoon naps gives you energy!
LOL.

i'm sorry for the lame post. i usually get all crazy and high when i'm sleepy.

love;
- jocelyn -

just so you know.

2010-11-08T15:37:00.002+08:00

♫♪ the moment i can see it,
yes, yes,
i can see it now.. ♫♪

love;
- jocelyn -

make your pick.

2010-11-02T02:33:00.006+08:00

and among all, which one is that one song that understands you perfectly?

love;
- jocelyn -

i'm only human.

2010-10-31T22:39:00.002+08:00

i think i'm allowed to get teary-eyed once in awhile.

love;
- jocelyn -

one moment at a time.

2010-10-30T14:42:00.003+08:00

And that is how change happens.

One gesture.

One person.

One moment at a time.

so i've noticed that my posts are getting relatively shorter.

my apologies.

i simply do not know what more to write sometimes.

love;

- jocelyn -

treasure.

2010-10-20T18:00:00.003+08:00

ilovemine.
SMILES.

love;
- jocelyn -

speak in terms of chocolate.

2010-10-19T11:16:00.004+08:00

don't we all wish that we have THIS in Malaysia?

love;
- jocelyn -

please not.

2010-10-12T20:04:00.002+08:00

i think i'm getting sick.
lets just hope that the flu is just part of my off and on sinus.

classes are already boring enough and if i really do get sick, i might just dose off at very chance i get in lectures.

love;
- jocelyn -

unlocked.

2010-10-11T11:27:00.001+08:00

i've been thinking of unlocking my blog for awhile now.
so here it is,
FULLY UNLOCKED.
for now, at least.

love;
- jocelyn -

say cheese.

2010-10-10T17:46:00.004+08:00

we gotta always live like there's no tomorrow.
we gotta always study like exam's tomorrow.
pfft.

love;
- jocelyn -

lurve, lurve, lurve, lurve, LOVE.

2010-10-03T22:48:00.019+08:00

in Taiwan, behind me, The Lover's bridge a.k.a. Wen Yin's bridge.
*winks.

i'm supposed to be studying.

but, but, BUT,
i don't feel like it and i'm bored of studying.
i mean, i've read those things over and over again for like 10 times already.

SO, i shall give you some random facts about the Taiwan Trip back in July.

#1. Do not let Darius stand and wait by the sidewalk, otherwise, he'll turn most likely turn into a dehydrated, roasted indonesian buruh.

#2. Do not let Wen Yin handle a cotton candy machine, unless you wanna a get a cotton candy shaped so small and taste more like carbon instead of sugar.

#3. Do not let Darius hike alone. Please guide and hold him!

#4. Do not leave Xin Yi in places like these just because she'll go missing in a blink of an eye.

#5. See those square-shaped rocks, they are actually named "Tau-fu Rocks". They were given that name by the great Chew Wen Yin.

#6. Put Darius Khaw and Chew Wen Yin in the biggest bookstore ever and you get, whoa-laaah:
THIS!

#7. This bowl of tau-fu with glass noodles in it, totally made us all especially Wen Yin go nuts.

#8. This place is called Jiu Fen, it has many small little streets selling food and souvenirs, but its not only known for that, its also known as the place Darius got bankrupted.

#9. Put Brian and I in Coldstone and i guarantee that you would have to drag us out. its divine!

#10. This is what you get after 10 days of craziness, MORE craziness.

LOL.
all for entertainment purposes.
this is why i love each and everyone of them lots.
*muackss.

love;
- jocelyn -

dear chicas,

2010-09-30T23:08:00.008+08:00

Makeup can make you look pretty on the outside.
But it doesn't help if you're ugly on the inside.
Unless you eat the makeup.
- Anonymous

so true.

love;
- jocelyn -

wouldn't give it up for the world.

2010-09-29T01:00:00.003+08:00

just like my new blog header.
:)

love;
- jocelyn -

totally,

2010-09-27T22:18:00.000+08:00

SPEECHLESS.

love;
- jocelyn -

and its all coming back to me now.

2010-09-16T22:18:00.003+08:00

BIG SMILES EVERYONE.
try dancing in the rain, or walking or running even.
:)

PS : Florence Ho, we didn't forget your birthday. LOL.
its from Ash, Darius, Xin Yi, Wen Yin, Brian and Mimi. *winks.

love;
- jocelyn -

time flies.

2010-09-12T00:39:00.006+08:00

now that I am in a total different course as my friends,
i'm starting to miss foundation days.
SOBS.

i miss attending class with them.

i miss falling asleep in class with Chew Wen Yin.

i miss hearing Darius Khaw criticizing Florence Ho everyday.

i miss catching him asleep in class.

i miss munching snacks in class while hungry.

i miss attending English tutorial and the LOL moments.

i miss the times when Chew Wen Yin desperately need to a lab report to copy from.

i miss Florence Ho cooking for me whenever i'm hungry.

i miss hearing Florence Ho yell at Darius Khaw for emptying her water bottle.

i miss the times we would 'lepak' in the library after lunch.

i miss Chong Chui Yee and Wendy Kiw.

i miss scolding Low Joo Jien, 'si yitai' whenever i see him in the corner in class.

i miss disturbing Ling Sing Oon whenever i meet him.

i miss the times when we would walk and talk after dinner.

i miss squeezing in a bed with Chew Wen Yin and Florence Ho.

i miss the last minute, late night studying with Chew Wen Yin and Florence Ho.

i miss the time when Florence Ho bought plenty of milk-choc bars to feed us fat during study break.

i miss laughing at Darius Khaw whenever he gets all blur during Physics.

i miss having Florence Ho to cover up for me whenever i skip class.

yada yada..
i don't think i can continue writing without letting a tear or two fall due to reminiscing.
missing those times.

♥♥♥

PS : Florence Ho, we all miss you. so hurry up and come visit us SOON.

love;
- jocelyn -

entirely bonkers.

2010-09-01T23:18:00.007+08:00

i think i've gone mad.
i can't stop smiling.
and i don't know why i'm smiling this much.
i'm crazy, I'M CRAZY.
wonder whose fault it is?
*winks.

love;
- jocelyn -

here.

2010-09-01T00:17:00.002+08:00

i'm trying my utter best to fit in everywhere.
just don't block me out.

knowing truth, whispering lies and it hurts again.
reality sucks.
give me a break.

love;
- jocelyn -

too much of it is a no.

2010-08-29T21:28:00.007+08:00

Darius is right.
perhaps you really need a wake up call.
but know that i'll always be here,
right by your side.
forever and always.

love;
- jocelyn -

deep down i still do, somehow.

2010-08-25T00:39:00.006+08:00

True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.

love;
- jocelyn -

still nevertheless, special.

2010-08-22T23:37:00.001+08:00

i mean it.
you are.

love;
- jocelyn -

yay or nay?

2010-08-20T12:45:00.004+08:00

SMILE!!!! I'M COMING HOME!
:))))))

somehow, suddenly everything's gone.
until now, i don't know which side to buy,
whether it is a good or a bad thing.
not realizing myself, even when i see you everyday that it was slowly fading.
up until that night, when everything came on me,
i went out to think, to get some fresh air thinking it was only a spur of a moment.
but no, as i sat on that very bench i realized it was all gone.
gone like you always wanted it to be in the first place.
what am i supposed to now?
my mind has drawn a complete blank.
i feel so empty without any directions.
i simply just don't know what to do.

love;
- jocelyn -

what is this?

2010-08-18T22:37:00.005+08:00

i don't even know what am i supposed to think anymore.

love;
- jocelyn -

walk away.

2010-08-17T13:19:00.003+08:00

looks like your never, will never be will.
but should i believe?
for now, i guess so.

love;
- jocelyn -

no more dreaming, reality's here.

2010-08-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

medicine was my dream.
now, i'm taking every chance i got to succeed in my field.
first class honours is my goal.
wish me LOADS of luck.

love;
- jocelyn -

not over.

2010-08-12T23:24:00.009+08:00

the moment i stepped into registration hall today,
i knew immediately that medicine was not within my grasps anymore.
the further i go, the further i am to my dream.
sadness dawn upon me when the realization of letting my dreams go just like that, finally struck my mind.
i stood right there staring into space.
and i wondered how is it going to be like for me in future.
will i succeed like how i want to if i become a doctor?
will i succeed better this way?

watching other medical students with green eyes is the only thing i would be able to do now.
but i would not let that stop me from achieving success in my own field.
i plan to achieve better.
i want to achieve better.

but for now, i would have to convince my heart that i'm never going to be a doctor.
i could only watch others become one.
perhaps i could let my consciousness drift away to fantasy for awhile.
for i would make use of that time,
to watch myself help a needy life or perhaps bringing a new life into this world.

but no, this is reality.
and i would have to accept that.
whether i like it or not.

love;
- jocelyn -

shattered with time.

2010-08-07T00:31:00.006+08:00

sitting here with tears swimming on the rim on my eyes,

though threatening to fall,
watching others going for their dreams,
i'll keep the green-eyed monster within,
for achieving my dreams as a doctor,
will never be my destiny.
i could only wish.

love;
- jocelyn -

hey ya, darling.

2010-07-24T00:11:00.006+08:00

hey guys.

am back from my Taiwan trip with the most awesome people already and i'm like dead tired now.

so much memories gained throughout the trip, every little memory triggers laughter.
(it applies for all of us)
LOL.
anyways, i had lots of fun, thanks to them people.

will be blogging on the trip next time.
i'm sleep deprived now.
back to study again next month, wish me luck.

MUCH
love;
- jocelyn -

ever heard of birthday-thank yous'?

2010-07-06T22:48:00.010+08:00

RIGHT. so i've been told that i'm a year older already.

so WHAT?
it doesn't matter as long as i'm mentally young.
LOL.

but here's the truth.
4th of July babies are always the best.
aww, you think so too? *winks.
i'll show you one right NOW.

see? i'm totally awesome right?
:)

i had been talking on the phone with Florence Ho when two crazy people came busting through my door with a piece of cake.
darn sweet right?
Janice Ooi and Nicole Tan, as usual were on top of their lungs even when they were outside my house.
and on top of that, i think i was so blur that night, that i didn't manage to hear them outside.
goshh. or am i becoming deaf like Nicole?
*sheesh. must be some contagious thing she passed on to me.
lol.

then again, i am really blessed to have these incredibly awesome people around me.

Brian and Ee Ling came over to pick me up for dinner that evening, we were supposed to be meeting the rest, meaning Darius, Wenyin, Tutu and Yati.

GUESS WHAT??
i was right.
they got lost on the way and got stuck somewhere in mainland.
big LOL!
they knew that i loved Thai so they brought me for it! but Thai in Kedah is still the best for now.

group pic.

had no idea why everyone had to run behind.
*bluekks.

and despite all MY pleas, they still got me covered in cream!
courtesy of Darius Khaw's reminder, Wenyin and si Tutu came after me.
ish betul.
so, i really couldn't be blamed when i saw the free cake redbox gave us.
"MORE CREAM" was practically written on it.
SCARY okay?
*laughs.

oh OH.
i was so surprised when i woke up yesterday morning to see that my aunt had recorded a video of Francis wishing me "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"
awww.

THANKS AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING GUYS.
and again, I LOVE YOU!
♥

love;
- jocelyn -

listen, honay, listen.

2010-07-01T21:03:00.007+08:00

See how shes looking in my eyes and any guy would kill for that
shes a beautiful girl, and shes into me, but I'm to busy still looking back.
Now I'm walking her to the door trying to kiss her goodnight
but something inside just don't feel right
my friends tell me tell me give it up so I've been tryin move on
but my hearts still caught and my heads not clear of the pictures from before you were gone
and I never wanna hurt no one try to forget your name
something inside just don't feel the same

No, she's not you and I don't know what to say, but I'll say it anyway
no matter what I do, I can't believe the lie and I just can't see it through
no she's not you.

I woke up in the middle of the night
started reaching for the phone
had to take a breath and remind myself that you said you needed time alone
didn't know what I wanted then, and I know I let you down
baby I know what I gotta do now, oh

She's not you, and I don't know what to say, but I'll say it anyway
no matter what I do, I can't believe the lie and I just can't see it through

She's not you when she smiles,
not you when she wakes,
you when she crys,
not you when she breaks,
and I dont wanna hurt her,
but I know that it's true,
she's not you,
oh,
not you.

No, she's, she's not you. I don't know what to say, but I'll say it anyway
no matter what I do, I can't believe the lie, and I just can't see it through
she's not you.

she's not you
and i don't know what to say
but i'll say it anyway
noo matter what i do
but i can't believe the lie
and i just can't see it through
noo she's not you.

another beautiful song from David Archie,
and i fell in love with it.
will be waiting patiently for his new single.
:)

the song's right.
I'M NOT HER.

love;
- jocelyn -

treasure every second of now.

2010-06-17T00:27:00.002+08:00

keep what matters most to you in your heart, no matter how much it hurts.
keep it, treasure it, even if it had to only remain as memories in your head.
because at the end of the day, when you finally reminisce all those things you kept,
no doubt, that a brilliant smile should grace the features on your face,
and that those good memories are so strong and wonderful that,
even your smile reaches your eyes and brightens all the dark thoughts you have ever had.

love;
- jocelyn -

i'll tell you a secret.

2010-06-11T22:33:00.004+08:00

The Mad Hatter:
Have I gone mad?

Alice:
I'm afraid so. You're entirely bonkers.
But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

love;
- jocelyn -

are we that easy?

2010-06-11T21:23:00.003+08:00

now, what's your answer girls?
♫♪ naega geureoke-reoke man man ha ni, HEY ♫♪
HAHAHAHA.

oh well, i didn't mean anything bad by saying you don't need a guy friend or whatever.
but its just, nowadays i tend to find a lot of girls becoming so (dependent?) on their boys.
just a reminder,
you live today for yourself and for not others okay?
and if you don't agree, then ask yourself what you were living for all those years before you met your partner.

love;
- jocelyn -

young, but not too young.

2010-06-10T00:19:00.006+08:00

YES.
think young, act young.
but not too immature though.
so go, find your inner seven year old.

love;
- jocelyn -

just so you know.

2010-06-06T01:27:00.007+08:00

there is indeed i difference between can't and don't want.
so please choose what is best for you and stop torturing yourself.
its really sad.
so instead ask yourself this question:

though i know it may not an easy question but try answering that first,
then you would be able to move on and pull through with whatever that comes your way.
I KNOW IT WOULD TURN OUT RIGHT.
so, good luck.

i hope the person who reads this knows that i'm talking about them.
i do care a lot.

love;
- jocelyn -

one is not enough.

2010-05-31T23:03:00.002+08:00

darn pathetic right?
*sigh.
i feel so stupid every time i think of it.
enlighten me.

was out with Darius and Wenyin today.
and i'm tired already.
was out for more than 10 hours.

love;
- jocelyn -

we ALL have flaws.

2010-05-28T20:13:00.005+08:00

nobody's perfect.

so you either take it or leave it.
after all, we're only human.

love;
- jocelyn -

with you, always.

2010-05-22T00:55:00.010+08:00

WALL. E says:

but my friends are all one step ahead already.
HAHAHA.

came back from the big KL on Monday with Nicole. her class had already started on Monday itself. but because of Lin Dan she skipped. so pandai right?
anyway, China badminton players are as hot as ever, babeh!
SERIOUSLY.
no denying the fact or whatsoever. all of those unacceptable as long as it enters my ears.
LOL.

okay so, Darius is up to his "kidnapping" us duties, kononnya starting from next month.
he's already doing it. *laughs.
not that i'm complaining though, cause i will never.
*winks.
and of course,
its always like the best thing to hang out with my awesome friends.
right?
:)

love;
- jocelyn -

come to be, baby.

2010-05-11T00:45:00.004+08:00

okay so as i had mentioned previously i'll be going down to KL technically, tomorrow,

for this:

its Taufik Hidayat from Indonesia in the picture.
source: Badminton Central

anyways, i'm excited!
its such a big event ok? :)
Nicole would be screaming for every point Lin Dan scores again.
i mean it.
HAHAHA.

oh yeah,
remember to spot us on TV kays?
we would be waving.
LOL.

love;
- jocelyn -

excited much.

2010-05-09T00:18:00.002+08:00

beloved darlings of mine;

(you know who you guys are)

Nicole had got us both free passes to the Thomas and Uber Cup Finals which are starting tomorrow.
but we'll be going to KL only on Wednesday though.
group playoffs are usually boring. only some good enough to watch.
we'll be going for the Quarters and the ones after that.
mostly just Thomas Cup.
am freaking excited now, ok?

right, so we've finally booked our flight tickets to Taiwan.
like finally.
it gave me another reason to be excited.
*smiles.

love;
- jocelyn -

MATHEMATICS,

2010-05-06T17:44:00.004+08:00

it may not teach us how to breathe oxygen
and how to exhale carbon dioxide,
or to love a friend and forgive an enemy,
it may not even help us find our way to our
one true love.

but it gives us every reason to believe that:
every problem has a solution.

love;
- jocelyn -

i love talking to you.

2010-05-05T00:18:00.002+08:00

freaking Eva Air.
freaking Air Asia.
money suckers.
*BOO.

having conversations with a loved one is rather comforting,
sitting with the presence of a loved one in silence is nothing less,
both unwilling to break the calm atmosphere,
feeling tinglings up their spines and butterflies fill their stomach,
with every unintentional touch of their colliding hands.
if only...

Simone Ong,
you are a strong girl.
remember that and keep it up.
i'll be here if you need me.

love;
- jocelyn -

why oh why?

2010-05-03T21:47:00.003+08:00

hey cuties!

first of all, please, please help me pray and hope that there is still flight tickets available for us.
why, eva air, WHY?
can't you like wait for us to book our tickets first before increasing the price?
*argh.
frustrating.

that's right.
that beautiful angel is me.
;)

went for Iron Man 2 yesterday with Brian, Wen Yin and Darius.
freaking GSC had split our sitting arrangements leaving us seats in twos.
useless people.
but of course, we still managed.
LOL.

today Wen Yin bought IP Man 2 tickets for us.
funny how Darius and her laughed so loud in the cinema.
crazy.
Simone had dropped me over to meet them, we went back to school.
the smart person saved her file wrongly and we have to go back tomorrow again.

ish.
eva air is still in my mind now.
frustrating.
AHHHH.

love;
- jocelyn -

hug me, i'm THAT awesome.

2010-04-30T21:48:00.005+08:00

was discussing travel plans with my darling friends,
on Wednesday.
we took a long four hours to decide on our plane ride.
next up, accommodations.
aren't we the coolest people?
*winks.

i went back to school today with Simone, her verifying her documents.
i have awesome teachers who were well, shocked to see my painted nails.
*laughs.
Pn. Latha had been the one to noticed it.
oh, apparently i was getting thinner each time she'd see me.

Simone's going to kay-elle already next week.
not gonna be seeing her that often anymore now that she's gonna be studying there.
i'll miss you.
and take care, kays?

love;
- jocelyn -

just a lil' something.

2010-04-27T23:02:00.005+08:00

hey there.

right, so i'm bored.
as always.

my aunt's Australian Silky Terrier.

obviously she's bored too, considering the fact the she is fast asleep in this picture.
first saw her last month during my visit to KL, she was weeks old then.
her size; my arm's length.
well, at THAT time.

wild guess on what THIS is?

perhaps Jan and Nicole could tell me?
if you both remember of course.
LOL.
it looks so good doesn't it, my darlings?

Thomas and Uber Cup : 2 weeks away.
should i?

love;
- jocelyn -

nothing in the world.

2010-04-25T22:27:00.008+08:00

sometimes you've gotta be alone,
apart from the person or people that you love so dearly,
but being apart doesn't mean that you love them any less than you do,
because sometimes, it makes you realize how important they actually are and it makes you love them even more.

and Florence Ho,
don't worry too much.

dumbo people in Facebook.
please, add people if only you know them.
*argh.

love;
- jocelyn -

how awesome.

2010-04-22T21:09:00.005+08:00

Darius is officially OLD.

his birthday was just days ago and boy, Darius Khaw, PERASAN lo you!
my gosh.
*faint.

we got wet in the rain for him, kays?
look how awesome we are!
HAHAHA.

really had fun during the weekend guys.
thanks much.

love;
- jocelyn -

pick-cha overload.

2010-04-13T19:02:00.017+08:00

well, i've been looking through pictures and i thought since i haven't been posting any pictures in awhile, maybe, just maybe i should.

and i'm like doing it right now.

you see, this is the view i get from my room back in campus.

and yeah, its the way i stalk people too.

so much happened before this but,
florence was searching for some English element book for her MUET in the library,

and i got bored.

the two crazy people who,

never, and i really mean never stops arguing.

in the place in SP which has great atmosphere for couples,

which has Nintendo Wii and Baskin Robbins too.

one fine day,

we went out for PORRIDGE.
and it was good.

a bowl of cut apples and studying,

gives vain people like us a reason for a picture.

i was sleepy,

and did this when in class.

florence says,

electrochem rocks.
though she would personally add : "yeah, RIGHT!"

but i say,

thermochem rocks harder.
LOL.

i swear i was going to do it, i was going to poke that thing through its paws,
right until i chickened out.

and let Wenyin do the honors instead.

nope, your not looking at our mice.

its Brian's.
our dissection is not THAT neat.

its not some wrapped-up "poh piah" ok?

may you RIP, mice.
though i must say, dissection was really FUN. *claps.

i have a lot of stories when it comes to the sports complex,
each and every time has a different story for me. =.=

this one's where we were resting out in front of the basketball court, beside the pool.

oh, and Francis just had his annual Sports Day.
i didn't expect him to be taller than his buddies.
LOL.

and oh, oh, he has a girlfriend already.

if you'd ask him he'll tell you her name.

the people who has certainly brightened up my life for the pass year.
this was taken a month ago.

behold,
my beloveds.

PS : hopefully i'll be hardworking enough for more pictures, aite peeps?

love;
- jocelyn -

awesome-ness.

2010-04-08T18:47:00.003+08:00

oh my.
just watched David A. perform in the American Idol Results.
so adorable.
awww.

i wish i was watching him live again, so i would have been able to scream!
and for the record, he always sound better live.
*thumbs up.

anyways,
GLEE Season 2 looks as good as ever, darlin'.
Lady Gaga?
LOL.

love;
- jocelyn -

MIA? nah.

2010-04-01T22:54:00.003+08:00

oh my.
all i know is that, as of now, i'm so LONELY.
gosh gosh.
never knew this day would come to me.
LOL.
KIDDING.

anyways,
i've been missing some friends.
it has been some time since we last met, and i miss those people.
where have all of you gone to?
oh my gosh.
if it wasn't for Facebook, then i wouldn't even know anything.
such a failure.

so,
dear CHICAS sekalian (i hope you know who you are),
please stop by my house and take me out.
i am a girl who is really bored.
but make sure that i'm not working, aites?
*muacks.

love;
- jocelyn -

pfft.

2010-03-28T23:08:00.001+08:00

DAMN YOU.

love;
- jocelyn -

when you're gone,

2010-03-24T00:05:00.003+08:00

all the words i need to hear will always get me through,

was driving earlier.
and they had these "i miss you" types of songs earlier on the radio, one after another.
not like they radio station had some playlist going on at that moment.
ahhh, oh-so-cliche moment.
no?

the day and make it ok,

totally told Wenyin that after i had picked her up.
her-normal and usual-self joked and said i was "hinting" her something.
LOL.
not that i am.
i think the RADIO is hinting me something.
something that i was not aware of until now.
=.=

i miss you.

love;
- jocelyn -

baby come back to me.

2010-03-21T18:33:00.002+08:00

i think i haven't seen anyone but my family for ages already.
ohmygosh.
i miss everyone.
:(

SICK SICK SICK SICK.
*bah.

love;
- jocelyn -

round and round.

2010-03-16T21:48:00.002+08:00

shin dongho is AWESOME.
♥

love;
- jocelyn -

neomu bogo shipeunde.

2010-03-13T22:42:00.007+08:00

hey y'all.
i'm thinking of changing my hair.
yes, no?

just a random photo. :)

oh, oh, oh.
i love you baby,
i miss you baby,
my life is incomplete.

FYI, its a song.
i'm still sane.
i have not gone all nuts.
HAHA.

love;
- jocelyn -

a year in reflection - part II

2010-03-12T21:17:00.005+08:00

the happy and special moments this past year that i wish to relive.
unhappy moments - BYE BYE.

warning - super long post ahead.

i remembered that morning on April 15th where i took all my packed stuff and loading everything to the back of my mum's car.

i remembered that morning when i saw so many unfamiliar faces around me that were soon-to-be familiar ones.

i remembered that day when i settled my everything into small corner that already had my bed, table and wardrobe ready for me.

i remembered that day when i first sat one my bed and stared across the room and told myself that; "this is gonna be your room for the coming one year".

i remembered that day when i walked down to the cafeteria by myself for the first time in search for my friend, Mallisah.

i remembered that day when i started hanging out with a group that were complete opposites from me but i still told myself that they were going to change.

i remembered that day when i realized that i was mixing with a completely wrong company.

i remembered that day when i met a great netball player, Reena.

i remembered that day when i stepped into the lecture hall that was filled with people i call my batchmates for the first time.

i remembered that day when i opened my classroom door and was greeted by the smiling faces of my classmates from A3.

i remembered that day where i went over to the sports complex for the first time.

i remembered that day when i met the craziest person in the world, Chew Wen Yin.

i remembered that day when we had to sit according to our classes during our Math lecture.

i remembered that day where we were suddenly told we were on duty for May intake.

i remembered the day in the great hall where a talkative and rather friendly classmate, Florence Ho, of mine asked for my number.

i remembered that day when i sitting along side my senior from June batch Stephanie Ho in the study area, talking.

i remembered that day when i saw you for the very first time.

i remembered that day when you smiled at me for the very first time.

i remembered that day when my mum's car had coincidentally broke down and i had to follow you back for the first time.

i remembered that day when i spoke to you for that very first time.

i remembered that day when our Math lecturer got mad and i shift my place in front and next to a quiet and hardworking girl, Ashley Lau.

i remembered that day when we were coincidentally eating lunch together after lab and this smart girl, Tan Xin Yi had spoken to me in perfect English.

i remembered that day when Florence Ho didn't managed to pull it off for my birthday surprise.

i remembered that day where we had to rush to Secret Recipe after dinner to get Tan Xin Yi a cake as a surprise birthday gift.

i remembered that day when Florence Ho cooked tomato wantan mee from JB.

i remembered that day when i was given the nickname, Mimi by my lovely friends.

i remembered that day when we all went for Bazaar Ramadhan and we couldn't finish our food.

i remembered that day when some idiot stole Teoh Sue Ann's phone.

i remembered that day when suddenly this guy i do not know, Darius Khaw kindly offered us a ride back from the sports complex to our hostels and invited us for dinner with a few friends.

i remembered that day when we had to blindfold Florence Ho all the way to the Korean restaurant for her surprise.

i remembered that day when i started calling Low Joo Jien the emo class-rep, si yitai.

i remembered that day when Ashley Lau and i sat talking for hours.

i remembered that day when Chew Wen Yin started teasing Ivan Tan leading to us officially knowing them guys.

i remembered that day when Ashley Lau found her other half.

i remembered that day when Florence Ho had crushed on a colour, Purple.

i remembered that day when our gossip king, Ling Sing Oon first talked about buttons.

i remembered that day when Chew Wen Yin would always finish our food for us.

i remembered that day when Tan Xin Yi had tried to teach Florence Ho and Chew Wen Yin yoga.

i remembered that day when Darius Khaw's car tire got punctured.

i remembered those times where we would walk around the campus and talk.

i remembered those times where we would tell each other stories from our past.

i remembered those times where we would go out for food.

i remembered those times where we would wonder around SP just to find some new places for food.

i remembered the time when we first stepped into the new Tesco in SP and thought that was the coolest place there.

i remembered going to the Japanese restaurant, Yoshiya three times in a week.

i remembered the moments we suffered the hot weather and studied together.

i remembered that night when Florence Ho, Chew Wen Yin and i were squeezed in one single bed.

i remembered the times Florence Ho used to cook instant mee for me and Chew Wen Yin said it would damage our brains.

i remembered the time when we rushed to get our hostel clearance form done hoping we could get home faster.

i remembered the time when i packed my stuff again with my roommates watching my every step.

i remembered the hard times i had when i was there, and how my friends were there for me whenever i need them.

i remembered the times we shared our smiles together.

i remembered the times we when we would all joke and share a good laugh together.

and,
i remembered the time i fell for you.

i miss all of you.

love;
- jocelyn -

a year in reflection.

2010-03-08T21:41:00.006+08:00

another year had passed.

another memorable year.
another wonderful experience gained.

sitting here i reminisce what had happened throughout the year.
it was rather funny thinking how my friends and i got together.
believe me,
we've gone through a lot to find each other.
but i'm glad.

May Batch roommies!
wendy and chuiyee. missing them lots.

spend my Friday and Saturday with the 5 awesome people i know.
wenyin, florence, xinyi, darius and brian.
crashed brian's house these two days.
especially the one on Friday.
it was pasar malam then his house.

bla, bla, bla. =.=

Saturday was better.
had E&O Buffet Lunch babeh!
so good.
went off to get some stuffs for florence after that.
and then we split and left wenyin, darius and xinyi waiting for us in front of brian's house till they couldn't stand it.
we were planning a surprise party for wenyin.
was out for 13 hours.
=.=

now that i am free for five months, i'll be working to get money.
HAHAHA.
save money for my well-deserved holiday.

since now that our course is over, i miss my friends already.
though i had last seen them just hours ago.

the sayangs. :)

exam ended.
foundation ended.
soon i would be in degree.

hopefully, we would still be as close as we all are now.

oh oh,
i have the best batchmates ever.
i love all of them, regardless of what happened before.
thanks for making my year such a memorable one.

most importantly,
i would never regret entering April Batch for if i hadn't,
i wouldn't have met my awesome friends.
i wouldn't have come to love them so much.
and i wouldn't have met you, let alone, love you too.

thank you so much people.
remember that:
JOCELYNLOVESYOU.

more pics on facebook.

love;
- jocelyn -

exam, exam.

2010-03-03T13:20:00.003+08:00

have been;
busy, busy and busy!

today's Wednesday. tomorrow would be Thursday and then Friday.
i would spend another 2 nights here as a foundation student.
i had already signed my course completion form.
i would miss my friends here so much.

had my English paper this morning. as usual we were given 5 titles for our essay.
5 choose 1.
i picked - an unforgettable person.

"... and then i felt it. i felt the moisture that stung my eyes, the tears that were swimming on the rim of my eyes, threatening to fall."

i wrote a story about my grandfather.
i didn't realize how much i miss my grandfather until i wrote that essay.
was fighting back my tears when writing that essay.
used my hair as a curtain to cover my face.

i was placed right in front for my Term 3 exam.
*sigh.

will be blogging only after exam.
tomorrow's chemistry.
Friday - 5th March 2010 marks the completion of our course for April batch.
it was another unforgettable year.
i love my batchmates.

da cheongmal saranghae.
ottokhaeyo?

love;
- jocelyn -

paranoid much?

2010-02-11T00:04:00.009+08:00

i think i would get old early.

totally something that i shouldn't be proud of.
i worry way too much.
my friends call me hormonal sometimes.
can't say that their totally wrong though.
i do get hormonal sometimes when i start to worry.

oh my gosh.

are they like symptoms of getting older?
sheesh.
i sound paranoid.

just ignore that.
i'm just being the plain me when i get bored.
anyways, my class or rather group, A3 had our group photos taken on Monday.
apparently, the few vain us, stayed behind for more.
here are some nice ones.

the remaining us.
chronicles of A3
starring : US! *booyah
loo joojien, jeff teh, rebecca harmony, jason wong, chew wenyin, sarrah francis, chung singmei, sharifah ezzah, jocelyn khoo lee, vaish, florence ho, ethan leong.

again.
its us who keeps the class alive.

and again.
oh yeah, experience it for a day and you'll know exactly what i'm trying to say.

LOL.
enough of seeing our pretty faces ok?
*click the pictures for better viewing*

apart of me is not believing what you had said,
apart of me is not ready to just let you go so easily,
apart of me does not want me to stop thinking about you,
apart of me still can't handle the thought of not seeing you,
apart of me still cares a lot about you.

that part of me has somehow stopped me from hurting after a few days.
knowing that, as long as i'm happy,
i won't regret.

and i am confident i won't be regretting.
because it is you that i'm talking about.

PS : Nicole Tan, i put in pictures already. see?
:)

love;
- jocelyn -

boring maths revision + inspiration + 3 hours = beautiful masterpiece.

2010-02-08T01:18:00.013+08:00

as if knowing that i needed it at that time,
Darius wrote another poem that was somehow suitable for me.
the person that i would call my brother.
it had took him 3 hours to complete his work.
i'm not gonna lie, but i did had tears streaming down my face like a waterfall when reading it.
but,
thank you.

As one journey ends, so another begins
As wailing winds begins to resonate the images of past and present
When all that have been lost, can no longer be gained
When nothing but shrouds of darkness, blankets upon ye
As feelings of loneliness crept upon irrefutably
Where happiness, tis but a short illusion that never lingers

What can a mortal do to escape this travesty?
When all we have left is just our own
When dreams of being treasured and love is but merely a dream
For we are created not as one but one half of another
As we constantly seek a half of another that is destined for us,

When thoughts of being treasured lingers in a heart,
The feeling of being important,
The power to call someone your own,
That is what gives man, the reason to live
To find that piece to complete your soul

But reality doesn’t always succumb to fairy tales
Usually they never do,
So what gives us strength to face each day as we awaketh from slumber?
Is it the power of love to come that we draw strength from?
Or are we just wandering aimlessly on a cold and empty bricked pathway?

As we must have the power to strive through each day
The strength to battle through our loneliness
Even as friends depart and abandon you in the cold and stormy night,
Even as we are all that we have, as we fall, as we shatter,
Even as we have to crawl back up with blood beaten hands

We must remember this
That we live for ourselves
That we can face all the labors of life
For as long as we have faith and God in our heart,
For He will never leave us alone in the dark

Oh God,
Grant me the serenity;
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage, to change the things I can;
And the wisdom, to know the difference.

And with the LORD as my shepherd; I shall not want.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Amen

- A Call of Strength, Darius Khaw

sparing glances at you wouldn't hurt right?

I ♥ After School's - When I Fall.

love;
- jocelyn -

a heart vowing to be stronger.

2010-02-04T01:07:00.003+08:00

i am somehow surprised of myself right now.

i just realized that i'm not that weak after all.

i first thought that when it came to you i would be,

but after what had happened earlier,

i'm glad and surprised that i'm not so weak at all.

thank you my dear girlfriends,

for helping me find the answer that i had always been searching for.

i had never thought that i would get it by today seeing that we had such a beautiful evening together.

i'm indeed torn by your answer and yet i'm not crying or hurting like i thought i would.

maybe because i did not face you on my own?

i don't know nor do i care about it right now.

i've got what i wanted from you.

an answer.

an answer that i had already been expecting from you.

i get it when you said you were true to your heart.

i'm true to mine too.

i can't blame you for anything.

she's your first.

and she's better than me.

that would be the most heartbreaking fact that i would have to accept.

you are important.

and in order to still have you in my life, i would be strong and move on.

move on for a better love.

a love that i could give and get one back in return.

i just hope that he would at the least be as perfect as you.

from now on,

i would treat you as another brother i wished to have.

you are the "tai lou" to my girls.

i do not know when can i ever call you that without the awkwardness that i would feel.

for you will never know that i had already found my answer.

for you will never know that you had crushed me today.

now,

i hope that you could move on with your own life seeing that she already is.

is it that worth it just waiting for her like that?

is she worth your wait?

but all in all.

i get it.

i saw her yesterday went coming back from dinner yesterday.

i had to agree.

she indeed has the flawless skin that i always wished for,

the perfect eyebrows that i longed for.

just by a look at her Facebook profile picture,

i now know why you still can't let her go.

i do envy her a lot at this moment.

for she has your love.

i wished to have owned in even for awhile,

but it wasn't mine to own.

i just have to accept that right now.

five months.

less than five months.

its so cruel that i will only be given this amount of time to forget you completely.

i want you to be happy always.

your a stubborn person,

a stone.

i hope that you will open up more rather than keeping everything to yourself.

i hope that you will not take too much thoughts in every decision you make.

you will just confuse yourself further.

i hope that you will find the happiness that you seek, though its not with me.

after everything,

i still hope that you will always be the guy i that i fell for.

i had never admit this to anyone but,

i love you.

love;

- jocelyn -

i'm not a pig.

2010-02-02T12:00:00.002+08:00

call me a pig,

and i won't be here blogging right now.

HAHA.

so you see, i'm not that of a pig just yet.

see nicole?

its two minutes past twelve in the afternoon right now, and yet i'm not sleeping.

my one hour lecture in the morning was canceled (oh yay!), so we had only one lecture from eight to ten. and yet, i'm not sleeping.

not saying that i won't later, cause i probably would, but who cares?

can't a girl get tired?

LOL.

was up yesterday night chatting with the girlfriends and watching them guys chat online. a bunch of "kaypos" are we?

had been a long time since we'd stay up till so late and have chats on random topics.

right now, wenyin must be sleeping like a dead fish in her room. well, florence had already had her alarm snooze for who knows how many times already.

yes, i'm yet again in her room.

with her laptop, typing this right now.

that's why i said i'm not a certified pig yet.

kudos for me, huh?

*booyah.

my friends were excited last Thursday.

they were waiting for me to blog.

but i wasn't gonna blog.

they were practically asking me to do it since they were waiting for the post.

*sigh.

crazy friends i've got isn't it?

but as of last Thursday,

heh.

i was happy.

i guess my statement above is enough right?

*smiles.

oh yeah, and we were totally planning on skipping Friday's class.

since it was Thaipusam on Saturday and we didn't wanna get stuck in the jam, so we did took of on Thursday itself.

we were so smart, since classes on Friday were canceled in the end.

went to redbox on Friday.

Darius was apparently losing his touch.

he's so gonna kill me if he sees this.

LOL.

and i think he managed to get it back somehow.

think i've updated enough.

love;

- jocelyn -

sugar, spice and everything nice.

2010-01-27T00:11:00.004+08:00

i'm back in florence's room, using her connection.

~~i do not like the connection in mine.~~

scratch that.

i do not have connection in mine.

oh-so-useless.

i'm glad she does not kick me back to my room.

i have been spending my time in her room using her internet since i don't know when.

and the last five days i stayed i SP, i crashed at her room, on her bed.

she had threatened to kick me out several times already.

*laughs.

but i doubt she would ever do that.

she just loves me too much.

right?

one of my girls back in Penang had just finally got her wish.

LOL.

she'll kill me if she sees d.

she's so cute and funny.

simone ong is officially nineteen since last Saturday.

good for her.

tsk tsk.

so much for calling nicole tan a pig.

i feel like a pig nowadays.

i fall asleep in lectures and boring tutorials. sometimes, i even wonder why i bother to wake up so early for class when all i'll ever do is sleep.

and if i'm not going anywhere after class, i would be on my bed sleeping again.

what a pig i've become.

swt.

went out for dinner yesterday.

i still think Penang has the awesome-st hawker food like ever. had been wondering in SP looking for food. found good, bad, expensive, i don't know.

went to tesco after that.

♥

i'm confused.

aren't i always?

*sigh.

you always make me confuse, don't cha?

even my friends are confused.

LOL.

are you guys confused?

i'm mad.

don't mind me.

love;

- jocelyn -

random.

2010-01-17T15:34:00.003+08:00

i am supposed to be studying right now.

was preparing to leave my laptop so it would go standby on its own.

but well, my wallpaper was up.

and the next thing i know, i was staring at it.

its not like i haven't seen the picture nor i only have seen it for the first time.

the picture held seven very bright smiles, probably from a joke the photographer cracked before snapping that shot.

i love that picture.

looking at it makes me wanna turn back time up to that very night.

its nice to dress up together when every one looks so pretty and charming.

thinking back, i still am regretting something.

HAHA.

pathetic.

i'm like blogging everyday.

hohoho.

love;

- jocelyn -

one for each.

2010-01-16T17:30:00.004+08:00

gosh, i'm suddenly in love with the graphics thing.
LOL.
lame, i know.

but i dun care,
i found one for each of my friends.

- Janice Ooi

- Nicole Tan

-Simone Ong

- Florence Lim

- Florence Ho

-Ashley Lau

-Tan Xin Yi

- Chew Wen Yin

- Darius Khaw

- *winks

love;

- jocelyn -

elle-oh-wee-ee

2010-01-15T22:36:00.005+08:00

another realization hit me today,
i didn't wish to fall for you,
i just did.

we talked about the triangle of love in class, during tutorial.
i think its Mr. Chu's perspective on love.
its actually very simple to him.
he mentioned that you are just in need for 3 things to succeed in a relationship.
passion, intimacy and commitment.

is there a valid reason to why you love someone?
i think not.
you just do.
and when you do,
that someone is perfection in your eyes.

sam tai and i talked about it on the ride back to campus, we agreed that those 3 things are for a couple that are soon to exchange their vows.
but not for young adults like us.
we think that it goes a bit different for us.

but if you were to love me only in my dreams, i may as well be asleep then.

PS: not emo. just a random post bout our discussion during tutorials.
HAHA.

love;
- jocelyn -

home.

2010-01-13T23:21:00.002+08:00

this is friggin' pathetic.
here i am still in campus when tomorrow's a holiday.
swt.
normally, i would be one of the first to fly back to Penang on such occasions.
its the same during weekends.

i wanna go home!
i'm just staying for the sake of the coming assessment next week.
*sigh.
I WANT TO GO HOME.

5 days of holiday in a row,
and here i am.

gosh.
i'm rambling too much.
sorry for this.

love;
- jocelyn -

what if i need you, baby?

2010-01-12T22:27:00.007+08:00

whoa.
after days of disappearance, i'm back again.
woohoo!

alright. i'm not supposed to be this hyper right now,
i just completed my darn bio proposal. :)
tiring.

i feel really, really tired with everything nowadays.
technically, everything means reality.
i worry too much,
i'm sensitive,
i get it.

sitting on my comfortable bed, i thought of everything that brings me these stress.
a comfortable bed suddenly became not-so-comfortable anymore when these things come to mind.
i'm sick of being emo.
i've said this before, i'm not a person who would go emo like this.
i used to be a girl who always wears a smile on her face.
i miss the me before.
so much.

in order to stop myself from getting all emo,
i distract myself all the time when i feel that 'it' is coming near me.
i even have a strand or two grey hair on my scalp now. (AHHHH!)
i was not the girl who had even a strand of grey hair even if i'm stressed out.

my stomach is killing me these days.
darius had to splash water on me, florence had to pull my hair and chew wenyin had to give brian a call just to get me into a car to a clinic.
LOL.
but i still managed to escape.
hah.

swt.
i'm speechless.
i'm still hyper right now.
i'm mad.

love;
- jocelyn -

2010

2010-01-03T02:29:00.003+08:00

after weeks of dissapearance,
i've yet again, realized.

its really funny,
when one minute you feel on top of the world,
and the next, you fall flat onto the ground.

i can say that i truly despise this feeling.
i do not want to fall back onto the ground.
i want to remain on top of the world,
on top of MY own world at least.

so why can't i remain on top?
that's the heartbreaking question that i've gotta ask.

another year has gone by,
2009 closes with a nice ending to it about 2 days ago.
i wish i could have a new year resolution like everyone else.
i wish i could have one that i could make it happen.
but sadly,
i have none.

all i wish for this entire year is for all the fun i could get,
all filled with joy, laughter and love,
shared with my loved ones.

i pray for everything to be back to normal,
so that i do not have to worry much,
so that it would have peace to everything,
so that my loved ones would be protected,
so that everyone would be happy.

i don't hope for anything more even now that December's gone.
i do not want to be that vulnerable anymore.
i hope.

i just want to be happy.
i just want to be able to smile all the time.
can anyone just grant me that?

love;
- jocelyn -

lazy pigs.

2009-12-18T23:08:00.003+08:00

♫♪ baby, all i want for christmas is you.. ♫♪

it rained today in the afternoon, here, in campus.
i was in slumber land at that time. so i didn't know.
the weather's so cold now.
the same coldness that i'm feeling somewhere deep inside of me now.

i actually chose to stay back in campus this week.
you went back on thursday itself.
without even attending any of your classes that day.
*smile.
what a lazy pig you are.

you told me that you won't be returning on sunday as there's only 2days of classes next week.
i got it.
i wanted to leave as well.
but then i thought of my girlf.
i do not want to leave her alone in this jungle.
wenyin left last tuesday,
then you left on thursday, and if i leave, darius would have left as well.
florence would be all alone since ashley has her other half with her.

but i decided that i would return to Penang with darius tomorrow.
like you, i'll take my days off classes till next year.
and i'll fetch florence when she reaches Penang on Wednesday.

i have come to a conclusion that,
i can't stay in SP without anything to do for 3days.
*sigh.

boredom is no good for me.

when will i see you again?
imy.

love;
- jocelyn -

as promised.

2009-12-16T23:07:00.006+08:00

regrets.

*sigh.

forget the complaining about the internet connections.
i'm about to slaughter it.
if only i can.

i'm here in my PJs sitting outside in my living room, near the pantry area in my hostel room.
so pathetic of me to come outside, just to get a darn connection so i could go online.
yes, i could go over to florence's place anytime i want.
but hey, can't i just have my own connection in my room back?

as promised, i'll blog about Darius' super cool party.
LOL.

my awesome friends came over to Penang for this.
my babe ashley decided to stay in the jungle.
we also had been discussing our attire for that night (girls. duh!).
we actually settled for something not so formal like as if were going for prom,
but something sweet and presentable.
we decided on summer dresses with pretty sandals.

we practically rushed back on Friday - as usual.
mum had to make her way over here to pick us up.
went to watch storm warriors as soon as we reached Penang.
only the five (D,Y,F,B,J) of us went though.

and so, when Saturday arrived,
xinyi, florence and i woke up super early just to rush to Queens to get a dress for florence.
why?
that purple lover lady totally forgot her dress when she came down from JB during the break.
swt-ness.

eventually, she got lucky.
she managed to find a dress. not so decent though.
*laughs.
rush, rush and rushed over to wenyin's house around 5 something.
*sigh.
that crazy girl didn't tell us that she didn't have transport to go get her hair done.
but,
she was all dressed up! *winks.

anyhow, we did reach Darius' house around seven something.
had fun till it was like near twelve.
then we decided to leave.
that crazy girl decided to drop by my house on her way to her friend's.
surprise she said.
*blek.

it was extremely fun.
oh, i want more parties guys.
pretty please?

more pictures are on facebook.

love;
- jocelyn -

worry not.

2009-12-13T00:55:00.002+08:00

*smile.
is the only thing that i'll do now.

i'm now at home, sitting at my computer table,
blogging away after a long day.
darius' party was well technically, yesterday (since its past 12 already).
my internet at home is already back to normal,
something i am indeed happy about.

on friday, my babes dedicated a post for me.
but, no.
i'm not that of a person with a small heart.
how could i be possibly mad at them for long?
they are after all the best friends that i have in the jungle.
LOL.
don't worry, i won't isolate myself.
i ♥ you both.

i'll be blogging my next post on darius' party.

love;
- jocelyn -

double cheese.

2009-12-08T17:26:00.005+08:00

days filled with happiness,

are hoped to be shared with you.

damn internet connection.

argh.

sorry for the complaining but i truly dislike the internet connection here.

i have no idea why there is no connection in my room.

like hello? how long does it takes to repair a line?

i've been stuck with no connection for 2 months already.

2 months or more.

well, yesterday's dinner was um..

disappointing.

totally gave us the "no appetite" feeling.

and so, we decided to go out to buy back Anfield Burger.

best roadside burger in SP.

no joke. its double cheese is fantastic.

florence n i went with darius.

we bought 8 burgers all together, mixture of beef and chicken.

even bought 6 pieces of secret recipe.

oh boy, PIGS aren't we?

will be going to darius' party this weekend.

SO extremely excited.

love;

- jocelyn -

nutso.

2009-12-04T23:34:00.006+08:00

i loved it,
hoping you will love it just as much as i do.
and i know you will,
because you said you will.

You’re just like poison
Slowing moving thru my system breaking all of
My defenses with time
You’re just like poison
An I just don’t get it how could something so
Deadly feel so right, I’m not sure of what to do
Its a catch 22, cause the cure is found in you
I don’t want it but I do,
You’re just like poison
My affliction I’m addicted I can’t lie
Kiss me one more time before I die

- Poison, Beyonce Knowles

i got the song stuck in my head for days already. gee.
i'm back in Penang for the weekend as usual. internet access is here again.
finally. *sigh.
but still, my internet modem at home can't be used, which means that i still have to use some wireless which is unsecured. pathetic much?

went for Japanese yesterday for dinner.
6 of us were stuffed in darius' Myvi.
(darius drove. brian in front. wenyin, ash, florence and me behind)
but it was awesome.
right until...

the nutso *cough no,
~~natto~~ ~~beans~~ came along.
oh boy, i would never taste it again even if there's like RM100,000 as the reward.
NEVER would i.

it is actually Japanese fermented beans. which means it has alcohol in it.
no pleasant smell guaranteed for sure.
it really smell like rotten bread with lots of fungus,
even tasted like it too, i bet.
EWW.

going for the infamous burger in Sungai Petani next week.
the double cheese burger is darn awesome!

i ♥ my friends.
they're like the best.

love;
- jocelyn -

no words.

2009-12-03T00:09:00.012+08:00

mianhae neoreul yooksimnaeseo,

molla saranghaeseo.

my internet connection in my room here still sucks.
i can't connect at ALL ok?
oh when will it get back to normal, i wonder?
arghh. frustrating as ever.

love;
- jocelyn -

Haagen craze.

2009-11-24T23:15:00.010+08:00

the best moments are meant to be spent with;
your loved ones.

wenyin, darius, brian, jocelyn;

went MIA if you were to look for us in Penang Island yesterday afternoon.
that's because, we went over to Autocity with high hopes of breaking a record. well, that's not so much for me, but for the other three.

we went all the way to Autocity for this:

LOL.
Penang Island has its own. we get it.
but we went there for the Haagen Daaz : eat all you can!
oh boy, will you be kind enough to guess how may scoops i took? *winks.
i'm satisfied ok.

*click to enlarge.

18 flavours + 2 new ones.
everything looks so good.
big headache choosing flavours.

not bad for us, we ate while we lasted.
i'm proud. wenyin targeted only half of the actual amount i took for me. *nyeh.
i've like tasted 11 flavours in total, including the two new ones.
so indulging, so appetizing.
YUM.

the promotion ends end of this month, we were so lucky to have made it in time.
*laughs.
i sound like a pig. oh crap.
i don't care. it was good and so worth it!

darius was apparently camera-shy yesterday.
so wenyin only managed to take pictures of the three of us.
she was more like "thau hip-ing".
*blek.

we spent about two hours there. our target timing actually.
went back to the island after to hang out.
we were too full of ice cream to have anything else.
no dinner, just a bit of late night supper darius got for us.

we were completely stuffed with the best ice cream last night.
it was oh-so-fantastic.
*smiles.

love;
- jocelyn -

always the same.

2009-11-22T15:51:00.004+08:00

no matter how bad times can be,
but upon hearing the name of your loved one,
a frown is quickly turned over into a smile.

the cousins.♥
we've grown so much since the last time we took a picture together during a grand event like this, it was 3 years ago during the wedding of my eldest cousin.
last sunday, we grouped together again for a picture.
a picture that speaks a thousand words.
but this time, danny wasn't in the picture with us, he was the main highlight of the day.

i used to meet my cousins every weekend,
but as time passes and as we grow up day by day,
one will graduate from high school and leave.
it happens every year,
our age gap's not that big at all.

now, when i gaze upon each of my cousins,
i recall the times we shared when we were younger.
in a few years time, we would all have our own lives.

but that wouldn't change a thing in between us.

love;
- jocelyn -

keep going on.

2009-11-21T00:28:00.006+08:00

maybe God wants you to meet a few wrong people before you meet the right ones,
so that you will cherish that gift deeply.
it is true that you don't know what you have until its gone.
it is also true that you don't know what you are missing until you find it.
the best kind of friend is the kind where you can sit on the swing,
never say a word and yet walk away with the feeling that it was the best conversation you've ever had.

if you love someone,
don't expect love in return.
just wait until it grows in their heart,
if it doesn't,
be content.
for it grew in yours,
for it only takes a minute to have a crush on someone,
an hour to develop like towards someone,
a day to love someone,
but a whole lifetime to forget someone.
therefore, go for the ones who makes your heart smile,
because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

the happiest people do not have everything they want,
but they make the best out of everything they have.
hopefully, i'm strong enough to be one of those.

love;
- jocelyn -

short and sweet.

2009-11-20T21:04:00.003+08:00

i need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,
after the day's great sun.

changed my blog skin.
got tired of the old one, even my sister's friend is using it.
i like the soft pastel colours on this one.
looks really nice.

am really bored this few days. can sense sam tai agreeing with me too.
and so i went out for a movie with my girls,
its been awhile since we last went out together.

am back now, sitting here all stuffed.
thinking of what i should do next.
*sigh.

is the weather getting cooler these days or is it me?
is it because of christmas breeze, now that christmas is approaching?
or am i getting sick?
arghh. i'm rambling. sorry for that.

a heart so empty without you,
imy.

love;
- jocelyn -

for Darius' Entertainment.

2009-11-19T00:22:00.007+08:00

its a complete different thing now,
i don't know what to say or do,
i'm speechless,
because of you.

Viewing in the eyes of the beholder,
Thy see a despondent devotion,
Filled with affection, driven with determination and zeal,
Tis such a tale of a maiden breaking an icy seal.

I compare ye love to the likes of Tristan and Isolde,
A love so great from ancient times and yonder,
Only to be rivaled by a passion from our modern wonder,
But will ye perish the same? That I must ponder.

Earthquake commence and glasses shatter,
As wails of banshee breaches the gate,
Till fallen angels sweep ye off ye feet,
As the two entwine and finally meet.

The love of tales of past and fate,
Clashes with adoration of the youth to date,
A timeless story that stretches till late,
Of how a girl who turns a stone into her mate.

- by Darius Khaw
aka. sam tai
aka. Doris Cow

a poem written by my very own sam tai.
it is called; for Mimi's Entertainment. *sigh.

according to him yesterday, i triggered the poetry side of him. i was just talking bout Ben & Jerry's since he wrote the initials of the famous ice cream brand on my facebook wall.

i am well honoured,
he wrote it for me. he added elements to it that - according to him again - has got to do with well, me and um.. *smile. heh.

oh well, he took just 3 hours to complete it and to be completely satisfied with it.
you've gotta see the other poems he wrote. fantastic.
*ahem. i'm complimenting him here. lol.

but from my POV, i still think the poem is not quite true.
well, hopefully apart of it will but the 3rd stanza is just plain teasing.
I KNOW THAT. *laughs.

yeng loh, sam tai!! :)
like my blog post title?? HAHA.
it is beautiful by the way, just minus the teasing. *blek.
i guess i have no choice but to say,
thanks much.
LOL.

love;
- jocelyn -

exam, exam.

2009-11-11T13:25:00.003+08:00

tasted the sourness of your absense,
and its not a very good one.

now that 3 papers is gone, i've got 1 more to go.
keep waiting for it to end,
oh, how i wish for the things that comes after.

exam stress has been driving my mind crazy,
random thoughts keep floating through my mind. it happened today, even during exam itself.
i'm so doomed right?

we have been planning for the break since, um.. i don't know when. but yeah, we did.
unlike last term where we finished our last paper in the evening, this time, its in the morning.
and guess what? i'm gonna be so on my way home then!
looking forward to the event we planned, so very excited now.

the cousin would be getting married this week. have been thinking of what should i wear.
arghh. gotta look presentable. *laughs.

i haven't been really thinking of anything besides exams these days, the word that spells E-X-A-M alone makes me feel sick inside. so pathetic. what a cliche when i got it as my topic to talk about last term for impromptu.

when you look me in the eyes.

love;
- jocelyn -

wake up.

2009-11-01T16:21:00.001+08:00

hot and cold.
*sigh.

internet connection in my room back in campus backfired on me since days ago.
arghh. what great timing.

i'm at home right now, passing up my time,
waiting to go back to campus.
i have exactly 8 days to my term 2 examinations,
i have exactly 11 days for my term 2 break to come.

we all realized that somehow,
somehow time just fly so fast this term,
perhaps we enjoyed mor theis term?
perhaps we enjoyed more now that we have each other?

for me to have come to realize that i have never regretted my decision to enroll myself into April batch of 09/10.
yes, i've met people with attitudes i might not have agreed and tolerate with at first,
but as time goes by,
i met more amazing people that are currently in my life,
leaving footprints of their very own kind in my heart.

i promised myself that i will strive for what i want,
but i'm dissapointed with myself right now,
since i feel that i could have put in more effort this term.

one week and that's it for term 2,
i will do my best,
i won't let you down,
dearest mummy and daddy.

love;
- jocelyn -

a little bit of everything.

2009-10-25T10:42:00.006+08:00

i know,
that i could always count on you.
*smiles.

i realised that i'm indeed foolish,
so very foolish,
i know of no one other than you,
and yet you are looking at someone else,
you have no idea how i'm feeling deep inside.

i would not be in your days,
i would not be in your memories either,
only you,
who have managed to catch my eye,
and i suddenly feel the tears swimming in the rim of my eyes,
threatening to fall like a endless water fall.

as i watch you walk right pass me,
somehow i still feel happy,
even though you still have no clue about what my heart has to say,
i should stop this and walk away.

i'm withstanding the pain each day,
the words,
"i love you" dancing on my lips,
alone once again,
missing you.

spontaneous write above,
i must say,
extracted the idea from a korean song,
my words are in it.

each day,
i see some of my friends getting hurt,
their gloomy faces,
their emotional side taking over.

i wonder,
why is it so hard just to love someone?
why does the word pain come together with it?
is it a package?
a package that is under your own risk to lift?

i dislike so much to see my friends get hurt,
let alone breakdown in front of me,
i wish that all the pain that their holding inside,
would just go away and never come back.

spent half of my day in central kedah literally. along with my friends - brian drove, darius enjoyed being the passenger. we were there for almost 12 hours. roaming around the streets with nothing much to do. ended up in jae yung's house, drinking alcohol and watching a movie. snuggled up back in the couch. i was so tired and sleepy.

had thai dinner, for what they said was most famous there.

and now that exam is coming, i've gotta put my full concentration in my studies. hope i'll get better results this time, much statisfying results.

love;
- jocelyn -

update.

2009-10-19T20:36:00.003+08:00

i should have said it the other way around.
guess that its too late for me to realise that, huh?
totally blew it, didn't i?

laughter is what is all about yesterday,
during supper,
with my lovely friends.

we were just merely doing some talking,
updating each other about our current lives,
the changes in them,
the joy in them.

the miss pronunciation of a few words by flor-lim,
caused the hysterics in between us,
something that i have also missed.

today,
i'm back here in campus,
looking into a brand new week,
with a whole lot of brand new experiences and special moments,
just awaiting for the right time to relive.

everything would be alright,
i tell myself,
just for reassurance.

love;
- jocelyn -

note to all.

2009-10-16T22:20:00.005+08:00

(i want you know, through the whispers of angels)
that i will always be here,
no matter what the circumstances are.

walk down the streets,
hand in hand with your love,
you might think that its the best moment in time for you.

but have you ever thought of the consequences then,
the consequences of hurting,
if the bond is ever broken among the two of you?

being happy is one thing,
being in love is another.

distinguish the meaning behind these words,
as like and love are two different things,
things that most people often confuse themselves with.

everyone deserves to be happy,
no matter what the future holds,
just look straight and don't look back,
its the best way to cure each and every cut,
that you once thought had damaged your heart.

PS : enjoyed myself these few days.
thanks guys. :)

love;
- jocelyn -

please, just stop it.

2009-10-13T17:20:00.003+08:00

if it means being friends is the only think i could do,
i would gladly accept it.
as long as you are a part of my life, i'll be okay.

am currently writing my bio report that i would have to soon hand up,
but something gave me the urge to blog.

i have been doing a lot of thinking these few days, mainly after the call with my aunt last weekend.
i'm still worried about how my not-so-little-anymore cousin sister is doing right now, i want the best for her.

i want the best for her even though sometimes she might be thinking;
that i'm acting more like her mum than her elder cousin sister,
that i'm the so-called grandma to her due to my often "tale" tellings,
that i'm always not on her side.

it hurt me so much when she said i didn't care. that she didn't know that i cared so much.
because of that, i shed a tear or two.

we grew up together, lived together for more than 10 years.
before my sister was born, she was already like a sister to me. being ever so supportive - i was the naughty one - she would always be there to step up for me whenever i burst into tears or when i refuse to own up when i did a mistake.
along her schooling life in penang, i know it was not an easy one for her.
being betrayed by her so-called best friend? yeah right!

i want her to return to the old her that i missed so dearly.
return to the old her that will never doubt her parents' love for her,
the old her that would joke and play around with me,
the old her that will never go against any of the adults,
the old her that would always be there for me like she used to.

i want so badly for her to awake from this terrible nightmare have been haunting her. a nightmare that is haunting us all as well. i wish that she could just open her eyes and look into a new day, where she can find a absolute better love.

someone that would not hurt her indirectly like this,
someone who will treat her right and with love in the correct way.

tearing down,
i want so much to let her know that the whole family will be behind her no matter what happens. we ARE a family afterall. we look out for one another.

i ♥ her.
and i would always want the best for her.

praying and hoping this will all end,
a nightmare that is never near a beautiful one,
i pray that everything would be ok,
i pray.

love;
- jocelyn -

i'm a big girl now, so let me be. please.

2009-10-09T23:29:00.009+08:00

things happen for a reason,
for a reason i do not know whether,
is it positive or negative.

after giving much thoughts,
i found myself lost in confusion again,
not knowing what to do,
not knowing which is right.

but then i thought,
why should i care about all these?
i'll do what i want,
as long as i'm happy,
as long as i know that i would have no regrets.

i've come to realize that the life i'm living,
is not a fairytale that would have a perfect ending,
where Cinderella and her prince charming,
lived their happily ever after.

neither would i be given the chance,
the chance to live my very own,
happily ever after.

"what was i thinking all these while?"
i asked myself,
i know now that all i want is to be happy,
all i want is for you to be happy.

i'll live the life i'm living right now,
creating as much memories that i can with you,
because i know that one day,
you will eventually have a place in my heart,
though i know that i would not have mine in yours.

...all these,
just because,
i am stupid.

love;
- jocelyn -

roses in my life.

2009-10-06T17:21:00.012+08:00

alone in my room,
watching as raindrops fall from the sky,
i think of you.

friends.
i have the most awesome of them all. jealous much?

before, in high school, i had simone who was always there to help me with the never ending computer work given though she would always be reluctant at first.
the blurriest among us all, always giving us a good laugh at her.
now, she'll drive me whenever i need her to.

nicole is my sister who share the love for badminton with me. no one could ever be as crazy as us when we watch it live - together.
one word : beware.
laziest person i've every met. *laughs.
she's the one who will go shopping with me, spontaneous late night suppers and also another driver of mine. :)

janice is the girlfriend who was with me when i need her. till now too.
she would always listen to my ramblings and at much she'll just crap something out of it to make it funny and to make me laugh.
the one who always cares about everyone.
she's the crappiest friend that i've got.

michelle was always the quiet one unless there is something going on that excites her.
she happens to be the safest driver among us all.
she's the one that would turn out to be most entertaining when she wants to be - i'm recalling my 16th birthday party.

florence lim. *sigh. this crazy girl will never stop talking nonsense. A to Z.
sometimes there is just no sense at all coming out from her words.
because of that, she creates lame jokes that will make us laugh indirectly.

my life in campus too has been going on due to these few chicas.

ashley is the dearest that everyone calls "yi sou".
she's the one that everyone is putting our hopes on, on getting an Avanza for extra transportation, just in case. ;)
she's the one who would always asks me if i'm ok, if she notices a slight change on me.
she's the one who would asks me to smile occasionally, and would always call me shy.

florence ho. this is the loud chica that is ever so spontaneous in her daily speech.
she was never the one to insult people, but instead just giving her clear thoughts.
her favourite colour has hopped from green to purple, making us confused.
she's the one that who would always tease me, A LOT.

if you think florence ho is crazy then think twice.
wenyin is MUCH more than crazy compared to everyone i've come along to know so far.
she has the maximum strength that could just overpower me anytime she wants.
do not get her to start teasing because if she does, there will be no tomorrow.

xinyi is the smart senourita that has the leader quality among us all.
as much as she dislike people calling her the leader, she is the one who would cook for us and teach us things that we do not know of.

i ♥ them all.
i know that they will be there for me whenever i need them.
thank you so much for that, babes.

had a great time yesterday.

the biggest potential in cracking a smile on my face,
YOU.

love;
- jocelyn -

sweet dreams.

2009-10-01T17:33:00.005+08:00

people say, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
if so, i do i feel like crying everytime when i'm missing my loved ones?

Every night I rush to my bed
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you when I close my eyes
I'm going outta my head
Lost in a fairytale
Can you hold my hands and be my guide?
Clouds filled with stars cover your skies
And I hope it rains
You're the perfect lullaby
What kind of dream is this?

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Either way I, don't wanna wake up from you
Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare
Somebody pinch me, your loves to good to be true

- Sweet Dreams, Beyoncé Knowles

♥ the song.

had the Mid-Autumn Festival here on Monday, organized by the BDS students as an activity for their association. was busy studying actually, had chemistry paper the next day. but we managed to join the celebration around 10? i don't know.

i was quite excited in fact. i was never involved in any activities in the campus before. grabbed my bottle. i seriously had no idea why i brought it for. what was i thinking? gee.

we had no idea where to go. so we just followed the crowd. ended up in the sports complex. *laughs. we were so 'sampat' on the way there. linking our hands walking while talking nonsense. great way to enjoy, huh? :P

spotted you walking in front but still afar from us with the rest of our friends.
was surprised at first. i didn't know that you will tag along. *smiles.

on the way back was : OMG.
don't ask what happened. you do not wanna know.

oh yeah, they had the Asian Kabbadi Games (um, i think thats what its called) over in the sports complex which lasted for a total of say 4 days? because of that too, the sports complex had been closed for a month already. badminton courts were not available then. had players japan and all. went on sunday to watch the finals with the girlfriends.

going over to the study area after dinner to revise for biology.
wish me luck. ok?

PS : wenyin scared me much when she nearly knocked my face with her umbrella (though according to her there is nothing to be scared about). *tease.

love;
- jocelyn -

don't keep me in the dark.

2009-09-26T00:25:00.005+08:00

the twinkles of starlight are yet again visible tonight,
only for me to search for the brightest of them all again,
wishing that it could answer my unspoken question that was meant for you.

i'm yet again feeling;
confused? arghh.

its funny how life is. its like one minute you are on the top of your world and in the next, everything crashes down right before your very eyes.

if anyone would ask my friends how am i these few days, they would say that i'm feeling extremely contented. but on the inside, i tend to feel all these insecurities that has been building up for quite sometime. i really want to get rid of them - its bothering me - though i know i can't right now; things aren't exactly going my way.

you're like a mystery that i want so much to solve, but will take forever to solve.

i really want to know what's on your mind,
to know what you are thinking at this moment in time,
to know if everything is worth it,
because just wishing on a star is not enough,
as it takes two to complete the story.

i'm curious.
~~so please don't leave me guessing who/what you really want.~~

love;
- jocelyn -

the smile is still evident.

2009-09-21T21:46:00.004+08:00

beneath everything, there's still hope resurfacing.

because of that, i'm still surviving.

i ♥ my girlfriends.
thanks much for everything.

love;
- jocelyn -