i miss my smile.

this picture was taken 2 years ago during my sixteenth birthday.

how i wish i could be able to smile like this.
to smile when i really mean it,
to smile a real smile.

whenever i'm alone, i will be thinking of you. i often ask myself why. am i falling for u? i want to know why. after giving much thoughts, i finally made the decision to stop thinking of you. but then one day, i happen to see you walking over with a smile on your face. at that exact moment i knew i can't help it as all thoughts of being strong and me to forget you vanished.

it was at that that moment too, where i realised i was this weak. have been scolding myself for this. why am i being so stupid? from what i know, i shouldn't be like this. have been trying to stop ever so long ago but i can't. i feel so stupid and weak for that.

but if there's one thing i know,
with all my heart, i wish that you will get all the happiness that you deserve.

as much as i don't want to say this,
but it does not matter if i'm not the one.
just be happy.

just before i close my eyes to sleep every night, you're the one who is on my mind.

love;
- jocelyn -